My Buddhist friends would not be pleased. I was sitting in my window seat and a little bug was flying around. I tried to shoo him away but there was no hope. I decided to smush it on the window. His tiny carcass was staring at me the entire 2 and half hours to San Diego. I felt bad looking at the little wings and florescent guts smeared about...and a thought occurred to me...it was nothing for me to kill that bug, very inconsequential, perhaps I had a minute sense of guilt. It seems shallow using such a degrading metaphor but I will at the hope that what I am learning will somehow touch someone else too...

I have been reading about AIDS in Africa and the unimaginable number of people dying over there. Does their death matter to me? More importantly, does it matter to God? There are so many...so many orphans. Do I feel anything knowing that people are hurting and dying over there? Or do I tell myself that I cannot make a difference so my heart be calloused so I do not suffer from guilt? Are they just little bugs to me, so inconsequential that I should feel no sense of duty or calling...

From 32,000 feet we are like little bugs milling about the earth. When we die or even when we live does it really matter to God? It is difficult to fathom the heart of God, the depth of His love...that it is so big that He can care for all of us little bugs and that He desires for us to feel something for those in pain. What can I do Lord? What can I contribute? God thank you for teaching me lessons through the thoughtless tiny things I do...like crushing a bug on an airplane window...you really dumb it down for me.